Moving On...

This weekend was as good as could be expected for what we "needed" to get accomplished and for what I "wanted" to get accomplished.

Yesterday was kind of hectic and stressful just because I needed to run into work for a couple of hours that I hadn't anticipated on AND we were trying to make a visit out to FIL's new house and visit him for his birthday. We are always trying to anticipate how he will respond to things and what his demeanor and mood is going to be. It is a very stressful situation for us both and often Fil places T in the position to "choose" between him or me. T had a headache by the time we were on the road. I am sure that you will hear more about Fil in the upcoming blogs. Let me just say one of the reason's why Fil is so difficult to deal with is that he suffers from Narcissistic personality disorder. He cannot understand or rationalize the world outside of himself. When we found out that he had this personality disorder, I tried searching for information on how to deal with and communicate with people with this persona, and there was relatively little information on how to approach these people, communicate, or help them cope/deal with their disorder. It is often coupled with another psychiatric disorder, in Fil's case, it is obsessive compulsive tendencies. It was a very long day and I was spent and done with by the time we got home. I slept the last 30-40 minutes of the car ride home and we were both in bed shortly after 9:00 and asleep by 10:00. Even though it was a long a stressful day, we had some good conversation on how "we" together are going to deal with this new constant and needy figure in our life. T made me feel really good all through the day, he never shut down on me and was constantly supportive... even when he knew I had reached my limit and had been entirely pushed out of my comfort zone with Fil's conversation. That in itself was a huge improvement from how we had struggled to deal with this situation before.

Fil's health really isn't good. He has already fallen in his new house and has been advised he just needs to "stay down" for a good couple of weeks. If only that could fix everything. It really makes me thankful for my own parents health, both mentally and physically. My parents are basically the same age as Fil, but have always taken care of themselves. I am glad that we only have to focus on one aging parent right now and not having to address it from both sides.

Today, T decided that he wanted to clean out the garage and get everything organized. I was not going to get in the way. I knew that it was probably best for me not to be around the house much, because T does have a tendency to get grumpy whenever he does a "home improvement" project. One of the reasons why I fell in love with him was because he made me feel "normal." I thought that I was a perfectionist and was hard on myself... until I met him. :) I remember him saying real early on while we were dating, "Yeah, I know I anal... but that is just me." ... AND he said it smiling. It was such an epiphany for me! Someone can be anal and OK with it? It was a changing moment in my life... to say the least, the rest is history.

I was productive... touched base with my cousin (who is like a sister to me), blogged, laundry is in process, went for a run, etc. The one aspect to my day that I was kind of dreading but really wasn't too bad... I did have a baby shower to attend. Luckily, I knew many people there and could distract myself with conversation. I went out to lunch with a friend before the shower and then only stayed for ~1 hour of the shower and slipped out. Everyone was very nice and several did ask me how things were going with our adoption process. I really did appreciate that and did take advantage to talk about it. It did feel weired talking about our adoption process at someone else's baby shower... but hey, the other's asked; I also felt like they were sincere in asking, so I felt comfortable responding... I hope that's OK. I was also glad for the distraction of the conversation, because secretly (not so much now)... I was dreading this shower. My friend who is expecting... she doesn't even know this... but her due date is actually the due date we would've had if Round #2 would have succeeded.

Talk about coincidences of life. Once again, the bitter sweet irony of life is ever present. Anyways, I need to go get ready for bed. I am ready to start this week... especially when compared to last week. I am sure it will go by quickly... a lot to do at work and this coming weekend I am going to KC to spend with a good friend and endulge in a new found love of "spa day." T-5 days and counting... Good Night!