Some relief and moving on...

Update. I think that the easiest way to do this post is in bullet format. To many thoughts going through my mind. Sorry if it is a little random and disorganized, but that is essentially my life right now.

• How do I feel about the interview? I felt like I was in neutral right after the interview. She asked a lot of good questions... we talked for almost 45-minutes... I am just so unsure and insecure that we were able to be specific enough in our answers. I just felt like we babbled and rambled a lot. I have a tendency to do that in normal conversation anyways, let alone when I am nervous.
• I had a very good follow-up and conversation with our social worker today. I thanked her for all the information she had provided us and prepared us very well. She told us that the birthmom is interested in us and liked us... but is still processing everything and trying to figure out if an adoption plan is in her best interest and the best interest in her baby. I told our social worker, that is fine -- it is what it is; besides, what other choice do we have? I understand that this is not any easy process or decision for anyone involved. I truly mean that; I really want the birthmom to feel very comfortable with her decision, and on some level, I hope that she can be proud or excited (I am not sure if those are the right words) that she has chosen us. I want her to feel so comfortable with us and the family life that we can offer a baby.
  
• Our social worker said that the birthmother may be interested in speaking with us again in the future, although when in the future was not specified. I said that we had the same feelings. I discussed some of my questions about this process and the conversation we had with the birthmom as well. That we would love to have the opportunity to speak again and get to know each other a little more, be able to ask more specific questions, answer questions more specifically, and learn more about each other before any decisions are made. We are comfortable with that for that now and we are comfortable with it being on the birthmom's time. It feels good being able to say that for now.
  
• After the phone call, I was feeling very melancholy that developed into some anxiety. I just couldn't get some of the questions out of my mind. This process is just so hard. I had a really hard time unwinding before I went to bed. It was probably well after 11:30 before I was able to fall asleep.
• I was also frustrated because I didn't get my workout in like I had wanted. I am sure that would have helped me release some of my stress. I was just so drained initially after the conversation from nerves, that I could not motivate myself. I guess another lesson learned... I just need to make myself do it. However, I find myself doing so much like that these days.
• There is a lot going on at work these days. I have new dietetic intern with me right now that I am training. She will be with us for ~400 hours of supervised practice. I have to get ready for a presentation on Thursday; no presentation ready to go. I am also just trying to get everything organized to get ready for a week off.
• We are still dealing with some family politics/issues; but taking the passive path of least resistance seems to be working and hopefully some resolution will be found with just the passing of time.
• I am READY for vacation! I am so excited to get away from the rat race of everyday life. I am READY for some R&R. I love how the cabins that we go to every summer do not have any TVs in them. I love the fact that we have minimal cell phone access. I love the fact that do not miss wearing my watch at all or do not care what time it is. It is such a peaceful week filled with family, fun, food, laughs, love, and memories forever.

Thank you for all the prayers and positive thoughts our way. They are greatly appreciated. Please send some towards the potential birthmom... that she may find the peace and R&R she needs to feel confident, proud, and secure with her decision whatever it might be.

For those of you who are reading my blog regularly, please feel free to ask any questions about what is going on. I will be more than happy to answer and discuss in my blog. Thank you again for all the support. Good night.