Well, I heard from our social worker today. I really didn't understand her e-mail because it was to several waiting families. I think that we did not make the final cut for visitation yet again. We were one of 6 families and I think that we are somewhere in the bottom four. She has chose 2 families she wants to interview initially. I really felt like we had a competitive chance this time... I felt that we were very open and understanding and willing, under these circumstances... I felt that we had a lot in common with her... but I guess the other families just stood out more for some reason. That is the another hard thing to cope with this process... how can you just not believe or think: "Why wasn't our profile good enough? What was more appealing about the other families?" Well, once again... I guess we just don't have too much of a choice. We just keep putting ourselves out there and rejection is just part of the game.
OK -- Trying to zero out the hurt and negative feelings... to balance things out, I *must* keep reminding myself:
1) We are only 5 months into an average 18 (+/-) process
2) We have matched at least 4-times, that I am aware of over the past 5-months. Out of those 4-matches, we have had one telephone interview.
3) When I put the numbers to paper... I guess that seems reasonable for what we are doing (? I think ? I hope? I guess all there is left to do is pray ?).
I am trying to not overwhelm myself and think about how many more times this ride and cycle will happen again before we bring our baby home. It truly is unfathomable.
I have had a good evening tonight. I am being productive and getting things crossed off my to-do lists. That feels good. I am becoming excited about going home this weekend. It feels good that T and I are on the same page right now with life. As I am typing this... I have our cat Gabby in my arms and Jake nesting by my side. I am very comfortable and cozy in our house. I just keep trying to focus on the positive... because it really is there.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
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2 comments:
You can't start over analyzing and thinking that it is you--the last one interviewed with chose the other couple because she liked their pets more. Who knows what little think clicked with her. It could be she wanted someone who played the piccolo, you know?
That being said, it doesn't make it any easier, and telling you not to take it personally won't make you feel less hurt. What I really want to say is that I am really sorry. You deserve better.
If you need me, call.
Thanks, so very, very much... on the lighter side... I really did play the piccolo... do you think I should add that to our profile? :) (little laughs).
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