Home Sweet Home

Well, time flies... luckily? Thankfully? I hope? At least right now... Sorry that it has been so long since my last entry. Nothing more has been heard from our birthmother for over 10-days now. With each passing day, she is becoming more and more of a distant memory. Continues to feel surreal that we were actually close to something? I am incredibly exhausted right now... mainly due to not much sleep over the last couple of days because of being busy... nothing more.

I went "home" last Thursday night. It was wonderful! I had nothing planned other than to help mom around the house. It had been a while since I had been "home," just to be at home without any plans. Often when we go home, it is filled with "plans" or some kind of an event. This time, there was no plans. I hadn't anticipated a mini-vacation when I took this trip, but that is what it turned into. A much welcomed and needed escape. The only thing that was missing from the past few days was T. He stayed in Texas this time. He will be going "home" with me in about 3-wks for my grandparents 65th wedding anniversary celebration.

I love being at home. I loved helping mom out around the house. I cleaned through an old bedroom closet and took a trip down memory lane. Many of those memories went to the trash can, but it was productive cleaning never-the-less. I loved sleeping with my bedroom window open at night. I loved taking a jog through the neighborhood without worrying about heat stroke, dehydration, and speeding cars - seriously. I loved reading myself to sleep each night without needing to set an alarm the next morning. I loved going to WalMart with my best friend from High School and going to lunch at McDonald's with her boys. I loved catching up with an old friend from college who know lives in Lawrence and exchanging stories about people we know in common. I loved shopping in downtown Lawrence and just running errands in town. I loved visiting with the neighbor whose cat had moved her 2-wk old kittens into my parent's yard for safety. I loved playing cards with my parents in the evening. I was glad to be at home to help take care of my dad. (He injured his knee and is now needing to return to his orthopedic surgeon). Despite the stress and untimeliness of his injury, there were still many laughs to be had. That is one of the reasons why I love my family so much, is we can always make each other laugh.

I think that is probably what I was needing the most was just laughter and a normal routine. T and I have that on a daily basis, but here... we are constantly reminded by where we are at in life and what we are waiting for. As I have said before, we are very comfortable and for the most part content... but sometimes I feel as though I am living a "ground hog" day life while we are waiting for the next phase to begin. The last 5-days was a wonderful change in pace... I loved just being there in the moment... wanting to help and being able to help, being productive and useful... no plans in place... just smiling and laughing. To me, that is just a little piece of what being family is about.