Update

Well... not too much is going on here. I think that we have resigned ourselves to that the birthmom from last week is going to choose the other family. We really won't know until tomorrow at the earliest; realistically, it will be more towards the end of this week (hopefully). We have resumed another week. I have continued to debate in my head... should we go ahead and buy nursery furniture or should we wait? Work continues to be work. We need to start getting the house cleaned. My FIL is coming to stay with us on Sunday night before he moves into his new house in Grandbury on Monday. We are going to be in San Antonio Friday night for a Adoption Orientation program on Saturday.

Back around the first of this month, I told my husband that I was hoping this weekend could be somewhat fun, even under the circumstances that we are working towards our adoption. I was looking forward to being "away" with him and just spending some time the two of us together. I know to many that might seem kind of silly because it is always just the two of us at the house anyways. Sometimes I feel (and know)that some of our friends (who have children) look at us like we are nuts and think we don't appreciate it just being the two of us. I am tired of hearing people say, "Enjoy it now because it will change when you have kids." I truly know that things will be different with kids. This fact has not escaped our thoughts during all our family planning efforts to say the least. One of my coping mechanisms through this process has been very intentional not to wish this time away when it is just my husband and I. But on the flip-side, it has just been us for 10-yrs now; with 5 of those years trying to grow our family.

I am not wishing our time away as a couple... I can honestly say I love being with my husband and all the time we have and had together... we are just ready and waiting to share our life and time with a child... we are ready for change in our life and to move our life into another phase. I guess when people say things like that above... I perceive they are trying to tell me to take nothing for granted... but really, with all that we have endured over the last few years... are we really taking anything for granted (rhetorical question with the answer of "no")? I feel like it is just the opposite. That when it comes to conceiving, statements that imply "don't take things for granted," and "just be patient, your time will come," do not hold much weight from those that were able to (1) conceive on their own, and (2) conceive within a reasonable amount of time. From my corner of the world, when it comes to having a child... do they really understand the power of those statements themselves?

Because of this chain of thoughts that has no end, I started thinking about what makes "going away" so special and different. As I am contemplating this issue, the answer dawns on me, not so subtly, as I hear our washer down the hall becoming unbalanced. We need to "go away" from the routine of everyday life and not have to temporarily worry about paying bills, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, laundry, are we good enough for the birthmother, etc. Everyone needs to "go away," even if they are single, as a couple, by themselves, or as a family. Why people immediately jump to the assumption that we have all this "quality" time together since we are childless... I really don't know. The purpose of "going away" is no different for anyone with wherever they are at in life. Everyone needs it for rejuvenation, relaxation... peace of mind. Everyone deserves to get away from their everyday life. I am now smiling as I am thinking about our 24-hours away from our everyday life... it will be worth it. :)