OK -- this is a post that I wrote yesterday. I was having a day of deep thoughts and contemplation. I held off on posting it because I was afraid it would come off as preachy, depressing, or misunderstood. I think it can stand for itself right now... it is just is a reflection on life in general. Take it for what it is... there are no hidden meanings or messages... I still can just be taken aback by all the my friends endure and handle themselves on a everyday life. There are so many times that I feel like I am still I kid playing grown-up and trying to live a grown-up life.
I know that many of you are wanting an update of our phone call from today. It went OK, but there are many red flags there. I am really tired right now and am a little on overload from all the thinking I have done over the last couple of days. I will post more tomorrow about the phone call today.
Once again, I cannot tell you all how much your messages and intuition meant to me on FB today. You guys truly surprised me by picking up on the true nature of the phone call so quickly. It felt good to have so many people truly caring and sincerely interested in what is going. Thank you SO very, very much!
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I am sitting here trying to organize my thoughts and figure out how I want to approach this entry. First let me start off by saying that I do believe we live a pretty normal life... and to some extent, many would say it is a "sheltered" life. However, the more I learn about the people around me and in my life... sometimes I want to return to a time in my life where I really was naive to things around me. I guess the different between now and then is that, "now" I choose to keep myself sheltered; whereas, "then" I was sheltered because of naivety. Throughout the last few years, I have become acutely aware to how fragile relationships and the heart can be, despite people's best efforts to make and keep them strong and healthy.
Here are some examples of some different situations that I have encountered recently either personally or through my friendships. First, how strong can you keep your heart when a birthmother chooses you and then changes her mind? This has happened to friends of ours, not once but twice. To me, this process is the same as a miscarriage or loss of a pregnancy. I cannot imagine, how can she be so strong, keep going? I am not sure that I could -- and truly admire her and her husband, they are an inspiration for us during our own adoption process.
How strong can you keep your heart, when your spouse has an affair? (obviously this is not us!) I just found out today that we have close friends whose marriage is being challenged by this and they are trying to refocus on their vows and reconcile. I truly admire them for this, but unsure if I could be that strong. I have seen and read stories about how couples who struggled for years of infertility, eventually get divorced because it consumes their lives and the grief and loss of not being able to conceive tears them apart. (Jon & Kate + 8 may be a good public example of that, along with many other factors as well).
How strong can you keep your heart during times of trial when you don't have the support of your family? How strong can someone keep their heart when themselves or a loved one constantly struggles with depression? How strong can you keep your heart when there are constant financial worries and stresses? How strong can you keep your heart when you are not sure you will have a job tomorrow? How strong can you keep your heart when the "norm" (birth of a child) is actually a day of loss for you (birthmother who giving her child up to adoption)?
My list can go on and on... as I started thinking about things today... it almost seems to be the norm to have many things that weaken and break your heart on a daily basis. Over the past few years, I have become more acutely aware that it is almost more normal for people live with broken hearts on a daily basis vs. finding happiness in their everyday life around them... It truly boggles my mind (to say the least and as an understatement)... it makes me thankful for how well we have weathered this period of our life... but at the same time, it makes me keenly aware of how quickly grief, loneliness, and a broken heart can happen even in the strongest of people. What makes us different that we can continue to endure and find happiness in our daily lives and others were not?
To me... to us... I think the difference is that we have always embraced that "it is what it is." (Yes, there have been times when we have hated and resented this saying... but we have never denied the truth in these words). We have neither pretended to be nothing we are not, nor avoided situations in our life, but have always addressed everything head on with each other... it is VERY tough to do and easier said than done, but I can honestly say it works. Life does sneak up on you, your heart does become broken long before you realize it... but as I told a friend tonight, I know that you will overcome this regardless of the outcome. Keep searching for the peace you are looking for and you can find it... it might take time, your heart might still remain broken and wounded, but you can and will endure and find happiness again. You CAN heal and endure as long as you keep trying and refuse to give up.
In closing, I apologize for the "depressing" nature of this blog. My mind was just racing with many of the other difficult situations out there involving people that I know. Being the "thinker" that I am, sometimes I just cannot help wondering what I would do if I were them or how did that happen. I cannot help but wonder what are we doing different to stay strong...
Showing posts with label Situations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Situations. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Where Has Customer Service Gone?
Yesterday was a frustrating day for me. First, let me back track. I am a red-head. A pet-peeve I have had my whole life is that people assume that the "old wife's tale" about red-head's having short tempers is true. I hate how people just assume that I have a short-temper. I feel that I am pretty even keel and it takes a lot to get me "mad." Yes, I am easy to read when I am frustrated and/or annoyed... but I seldom get "angry." However, over the past few years I have noticed that my patience has been decreasing, almost exponentially. It doesn't take as much for me to now become "very annoyed," or "very frustrated." ... and those involved know it because I am not afraid to tell them. Well, yesterday, I had several, consecutive, "frustrating" moments.
As I was trying to settle down and return my blood pressure to within normal limits, I started processing and trying to understand what my "triggers" are for my new awareness of my short fuse. Without much thought, I knew that poor customer service was the answer. In each of my lunch hour errands, the following mistakes were made by the attendant when I encountered a problem.
First, my rewards card for a $0.10 fuel discount wouldn't work. Now, please keep in mind this was not the first time this had happened; rather it was at least the 5th time, if not more. I had gone out of my way to go to this gas station and claim my fuel reward. Furthermore, I am a loyal grocery shopper at this store so I can earn my fuel discount. Well, I was *very frustrated* when it wouldn't work AGAIN. So, I went up to the attendant to discuss the problem. I started out with the statement that I having problems with my rewards card and I was very frustrated because I have had this problem several times before. The attendant (who was older than me, not an immature teen) proceeded to tell me: 1) that there could not be a problem with my card because no one else was having problems; and 2) that there was nothing that he could do.
What!?! So, am I imagining the problem with my card? Am I making this up just for fun and I have nothing better to do with my time? I don't think so, my card really and truly doesn't work. So, I try to reexplain my problem... and surprise, surprise... I got the same response. He just kept standing there saying there was nothing he could do. I finally asked to talk to a manager, there wasn't anything he could do about that either. He was the only one there. I finally asked for a 1-800-customer service number for the rewards card, and he handed it to me reluctantly. As I headed back to my car, I realized you needed the store number to file a report, and so I had to turn around and go back to the attendant and ask for the store number. You would've thought that I asked him if I could pull his teeth instead.
Anyways, I called the 1-800 number I received and by the end of my conversation, I was once again a very satisfied customer. The customer service rep on the other end of the line was a very good listener, took me seriously, verified that I was having a problem with my card, AND he returned my two other fuel discounts that I had lost previously because the card was not working correctly. I also relayed the information that I was frustrated with the customer service at the fuel station, he thanked me for that information and said that an e-mail would be sent to the local supervisor.
I have come to the conclusion that customer service is a dying art and a thing of the past. I heard somewhere that there really is no need for customer service in our society anymore because convenience and cost-savings is more important to the consumer. To be honest, that is exactly why I was there... cost-savings. I had actually not fueled up there for over a month because I was so frustrated with the repeated problems with my card... but after time, I returned because to be it was worth the discount per gallon. That consumers are still going to continue to shop, eat, and receive services at the same places out of convenience and price; not out of loyalty. Now, this does pose a dilemma to consumers like myself... I am a very loyal customer to certain places and I don't mind spending a little extra for service and quality. However, when I am disappointed in the service received, it becomes even more frustration when it is pointed out that "you" are the problem.
That leads me to my second problem while running lunch-hour errands yesterday. I was in the self-check out lane... this was after my encounter with the fuel attendant, therefore I had intentionally chosen the self-checkout land because I didn't want to deal with anymore people. Anyways, the item I had rang-up wrong. I did not get the sale price. So, I had to call the attendant over (also older than me), and she started fidgeting with the touch screen, then cancelled my whole order, and then proceeded to tell me it was my fault because I did not give her the correct information about the problem. At this time, I just dropped my head and buried my face in my hands. I really had never done this in public before. This attendant kept trying to explain that I was the one in the wrong... I just looked at her, and said very calmly, "It doesn't matter. Let's just get it fixed." At that time, she stopped talking and a very long ~10 minutes later, I was walking out of the store initiating my Yoga breathing to relax myself for the second time in 30-minutes, while dealing with lunch-time traffic on Main Street. Ugh!
Finally, my last example. I called the state licensing board with a question about my professional license renewal. I was told that they are not there to answer questions about my license, but just process applications. This was confusing because I had called the number listed under "Questions? Please contact us at..." I was told that I need to read the "Board Rules" myself and answer my own questions. It was then that I could feel my blood pressure starting to increase. When I asked where I could find the Board Rules... because I was looking at a web site that had at least 6-links to various documents from the legislature... I received the response, "YOU are a professional license holder and YOU don't know where your board rules are at?" Ohhh... NOW, I was mad! I responded to her that I wanted to make sure that I was reading the same document that she was referencing to me because I was looking at 6-different documents at that time on-line. I told her that I was offended by her response because I am a very informed, very involved, and very educated license holder within my professional community. I concluded by asking for her name, her supervisor's name, and an apology. She reluctantly gave me all of the above.
So, with everything happening back-to-back... I have decided that poor customer service is truly a trigger for my temper. The following phrases spontaneously light the short fuse:
1) "There is nothing I can do... " At the least, you could try apologizing?
2) "The computer says..." Really, can you not think for yourself but can only repeat what the computer is telling you? *Very* very sad...
3) Please DO NOT tell me, the customer, that it is my fault and I am the one in the wrong.
4) Please DO NOT try to explain to me that the problem I am reporting is not a "real" problem.
5) Please DO NOT make excuses for your poor service and why you cannot meet my needs. Please DO NOT explain to me how busy you are and why you can't do something.
6) Please DO NOT treat me like I am just the usual, impatient, and uniformed member of society that just gets mad because I didn't get my way. Please listen to me and you will see that I have a valid and justified concern.
Finally, that is what most people want... just to be listened to and to be heard. They want the comfort and satisfaction knowing that some effort is being put forward to fix the problem. But now my problem is, if customer service is truly a thing of the past... then what am I going to do to improve my patience? I guess it is more yoga breathing, yoga practice, and yoga mediatation for me!
As I was trying to settle down and return my blood pressure to within normal limits, I started processing and trying to understand what my "triggers" are for my new awareness of my short fuse. Without much thought, I knew that poor customer service was the answer. In each of my lunch hour errands, the following mistakes were made by the attendant when I encountered a problem.
First, my rewards card for a $0.10 fuel discount wouldn't work. Now, please keep in mind this was not the first time this had happened; rather it was at least the 5th time, if not more. I had gone out of my way to go to this gas station and claim my fuel reward. Furthermore, I am a loyal grocery shopper at this store so I can earn my fuel discount. Well, I was *very frustrated* when it wouldn't work AGAIN. So, I went up to the attendant to discuss the problem. I started out with the statement that I having problems with my rewards card and I was very frustrated because I have had this problem several times before. The attendant (who was older than me, not an immature teen) proceeded to tell me: 1) that there could not be a problem with my card because no one else was having problems; and 2) that there was nothing that he could do.
What!?! So, am I imagining the problem with my card? Am I making this up just for fun and I have nothing better to do with my time? I don't think so, my card really and truly doesn't work. So, I try to reexplain my problem... and surprise, surprise... I got the same response. He just kept standing there saying there was nothing he could do. I finally asked to talk to a manager, there wasn't anything he could do about that either. He was the only one there. I finally asked for a 1-800-customer service number for the rewards card, and he handed it to me reluctantly. As I headed back to my car, I realized you needed the store number to file a report, and so I had to turn around and go back to the attendant and ask for the store number. You would've thought that I asked him if I could pull his teeth instead.
Anyways, I called the 1-800 number I received and by the end of my conversation, I was once again a very satisfied customer. The customer service rep on the other end of the line was a very good listener, took me seriously, verified that I was having a problem with my card, AND he returned my two other fuel discounts that I had lost previously because the card was not working correctly. I also relayed the information that I was frustrated with the customer service at the fuel station, he thanked me for that information and said that an e-mail would be sent to the local supervisor.
I have come to the conclusion that customer service is a dying art and a thing of the past. I heard somewhere that there really is no need for customer service in our society anymore because convenience and cost-savings is more important to the consumer. To be honest, that is exactly why I was there... cost-savings. I had actually not fueled up there for over a month because I was so frustrated with the repeated problems with my card... but after time, I returned because to be it was worth the discount per gallon. That consumers are still going to continue to shop, eat, and receive services at the same places out of convenience and price; not out of loyalty. Now, this does pose a dilemma to consumers like myself... I am a very loyal customer to certain places and I don't mind spending a little extra for service and quality. However, when I am disappointed in the service received, it becomes even more frustration when it is pointed out that "you" are the problem.
That leads me to my second problem while running lunch-hour errands yesterday. I was in the self-check out lane... this was after my encounter with the fuel attendant, therefore I had intentionally chosen the self-checkout land because I didn't want to deal with anymore people. Anyways, the item I had rang-up wrong. I did not get the sale price. So, I had to call the attendant over (also older than me), and she started fidgeting with the touch screen, then cancelled my whole order, and then proceeded to tell me it was my fault because I did not give her the correct information about the problem. At this time, I just dropped my head and buried my face in my hands. I really had never done this in public before. This attendant kept trying to explain that I was the one in the wrong... I just looked at her, and said very calmly, "It doesn't matter. Let's just get it fixed." At that time, she stopped talking and a very long ~10 minutes later, I was walking out of the store initiating my Yoga breathing to relax myself for the second time in 30-minutes, while dealing with lunch-time traffic on Main Street. Ugh!
Finally, my last example. I called the state licensing board with a question about my professional license renewal. I was told that they are not there to answer questions about my license, but just process applications. This was confusing because I had called the number listed under "Questions? Please contact us at..." I was told that I need to read the "Board Rules" myself and answer my own questions. It was then that I could feel my blood pressure starting to increase. When I asked where I could find the Board Rules... because I was looking at a web site that had at least 6-links to various documents from the legislature... I received the response, "YOU are a professional license holder and YOU don't know where your board rules are at?" Ohhh... NOW, I was mad! I responded to her that I wanted to make sure that I was reading the same document that she was referencing to me because I was looking at 6-different documents at that time on-line. I told her that I was offended by her response because I am a very informed, very involved, and very educated license holder within my professional community. I concluded by asking for her name, her supervisor's name, and an apology. She reluctantly gave me all of the above.
So, with everything happening back-to-back... I have decided that poor customer service is truly a trigger for my temper. The following phrases spontaneously light the short fuse:
1) "There is nothing I can do... " At the least, you could try apologizing?
2) "The computer says..." Really, can you not think for yourself but can only repeat what the computer is telling you? *Very* very sad...
3) Please DO NOT tell me, the customer, that it is my fault and I am the one in the wrong.
4) Please DO NOT try to explain to me that the problem I am reporting is not a "real" problem.
5) Please DO NOT make excuses for your poor service and why you cannot meet my needs. Please DO NOT explain to me how busy you are and why you can't do something.
6) Please DO NOT treat me like I am just the usual, impatient, and uniformed member of society that just gets mad because I didn't get my way. Please listen to me and you will see that I have a valid and justified concern.
Finally, that is what most people want... just to be listened to and to be heard. They want the comfort and satisfaction knowing that some effort is being put forward to fix the problem. But now my problem is, if customer service is truly a thing of the past... then what am I going to do to improve my patience? I guess it is more yoga breathing, yoga practice, and yoga mediatation for me!
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